phoenixheart_79

Oh dear, I blame Helen - she's turning me into a scene-bunny. It's not good, seeing all those cute-guys wiggling their bums and being all sweaty and mmmmmmmm.... I dread to think what it's doing to my blood pressure :(

In English, went out on Saturday, had a laugh, got annoyed, crashed at B.P's - won't say more here as I won't have anything to say in my letter to Diana if I do. And since other than Sheffield on Saturday, it's been work all week, it'd be a damn boring letter. I will say one thing, to keep her sane - nothing happened, I just slept on the sofa. But I know her, she'd be chomping at the bit if I didn't say something! LOL

You know you're getting old when your birthday isn't until the end of August but you're already making tentative plans for what to do - Manchester's Canal Street OR Brighton. Frak me, it's like nearly six months away and I'm making PLANS? Aghhhh!

Also, got the soundtrack to Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children recently. They redid one of the greatest pieces of game music - FFVII's "One Winged Angel" (from the big fight with Sephiroth at the end). A song which mixes great, huge operatic musical scores with lyrics in Romaji AND thrash metal should not, in any way shape or form, work. But it DOES. It's a-fucking-mazing!!!! Best film score EVER.

Forgot about this the other day, only remembered because I was adding it to my MSN profile! A piccy from Fuel in Sheffield. Ben P (he of whom I have the crush) took the photo, hence him not being in it (and, clearly, he'd had a couple of drinks, as poor Kev has had his head chopped in half! lol). From right to left we have a poof, another poof, a dyke and the only hetero in the club! LOL

Okay, Okay, I've not posted for a few days, but at least this is better than my usual 5 month hiatus :) To be truthful, not a great deal to write about anyway, since I've been mainly working.

Me, Helen, Tom and Leanne went to watch the new Alyson Hannigan movie earlier. Yeah yeah, I know it got awful reviews, but it IS Alyson Hannigan after all! And, guilty secret, I kinda enjoyed it. Yes, some of the jokes and send up's are corny, but some are really good too - the Pretty Woman send up is hilarious. And at one point I eat some popcorn at the wrong moment and very nearly choked to death, because I was trying to laugh and eat at the same time. Not a good combination. Besides which, the male lead is the seriously cute Adam Campbell:



I'm sure you'll agree, well worth the price of admission!

Talked to Helen about the Ben thing, she just thinks it's funny! LOL

I needed to distract myself from thoughts of Ben, so I decided, after I got bored arguing with the anti-gay christian loonies on AOL, that I'd create a couple of Apollo icons. Yeah, I know they're simple, but I just couldn't get into animating, my distraction proved insufficiantly distracting after all. *sigh*

Anyway, icons:





I've also dug out one of my older phoenix icons, can't remember where I found the original piccy - probably google, knowing me.




Spoke to Helen earlier, she seems to think this whole crush on Ben thing is intensely funny. I'd agree with her if it wasn't for the total self-slip. To go from being a bottom to wanting to bet the top is just outside my area of experience and it's weirded me out big time! Ah well, I have another shift at work soon, so plenty of time to let it perculate in my brain!

Yes, it's early. I've been at work, deal with it :)

I think I've worked out what's doing my nut in with this Ben situation. I touched on it before, it's about my 'role' in the sack. I've always been the receiving guy, what is endearingly called the "bottom". I enjoy this a lot, I really do. In fact, I don't think I can accurately describe how much I like it and how much it means to me. It's become a part of me, part of who I am. Kinda like my obsession with slogan T-shirts (Join the Kill A Chav Campaign 2006 NOW!). And suddenly a guy I barely know turns that upside down and inside out. No wonder I'm confusticated! Part of how I see myself has suddenly changed. No warning, just *bang*, there it is.

Having worked out the problem, I'm still no nearer a solution. I better phone Helen later, talk to her, I think.

Whoops, that went totally wrong. Lets try again to get that picture of the lurvely Jamie Bamber to appear, shall we?

I was slumming around on the internet the other day and found a wonderful blog endearingly entitled "Adventures of a Gay Geek" and realised that, yes, I too am a Gay Geek! How I missed this obvious connection (and rather cool sounding, for the purposes of email names) is beyond me, I mean I freely admit to being a geek and, well, the whole homosexuality thing is no secret. But I never put the two together to come up with something so cool sounding. Why is it others always have the really cool ideas? *sniffle*

I like Mr Gay Geek though, he has exceptional taste. We agree that although the reimagined Battlestar Galactica is probably some of the best TV since the heady days of Buffy and Angel and visually the show is beautiful, the most pleasing thing has to be the truly gorgeous Jamie Bamber as Lee Adama. Oh boy, I thought James Marsters was hot! If Marsters is hot, then Bamber is volcanic!

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v312/Phoenixheart79/galactica_apollo_2.jpg[/IMG]

In related news (Re: Men), still can't Ben out of my head. I fucking DREAMT about him last night! This would be charming and endearing if I wasn't 26 years old! I shouldn't be getting school-girl crushes! I shouldn't!

Okay, okay, so I haven't posted here in ages! What ya all gonna do to me, sue? Please don't, I'm pathetic... and skint. There are tribes of African natives as yet unaware of the concept of money that have more savings than me.

So, what has compelled me to come back here after such a HUGE absense, you ask? I need to talk, to vent, to say stuff.

Last night, me and some friends went on a night out in Sheffield, gay scene and all that. Lots of men, all very sweaty... anyway, where was I? Oh yes, friends. Anyway, it was Helen who organised this night out, I've only met 2 of the other people going, all the rest would be a surprise. One of the lads I technically know is Ben - we'd been introduced one time in Meadowhall, but that's it. Anyway, we go out and have a great time. And now I have this insane crush on Ben. I'm like a fracking school-girl! I'm 26, school-girl crushes should be in the past! I've met the guy exactly twice, once over a counter in Lush, the other we all got progressively drunker as the night wore on! Gah!

I'm a 100% 'bottom', it should be said, yet Ben is just soooooo adorable and cute I just want to do... all sorts. And I want to be the 'top' with him, which is jut bizarre. No man has ever made me want to take the active role. None. Ever. I've always taken a huge amount of pleasure from being the bottom, I LIKE it - I enjoy it immensely. And yet here I am, imagining myself being the 'top'.

On top of that, there's Helen. She's a great friend, one of my best. And Ben is one of her best friends. So, what happens if something does happens between me and Ben, but then we split up? Would I lose Helen as a friend? Worse, how would Helen react to the me trying something with Ben? Yeah, I need to talk to her, I know. I told her earlier on MSN and she was all "LOL's", but that doesn't tell me what her face would, or her tone of voice. Hopefully that conversation will be easier since I've let her know I *like* Ben. BUt then we have the added question of "does Ben like me?", which is just.. I have little success in the field of getting men to like me. So I'm not hugely optimistic.

Oh yeah, as a 'going out on the town tonight' present, Helen gave me a piece of Rose Quartz, which is basically meant to attract love and stuff. So I blame Helen for all this! lol

I was trawling 'round the net an dcam eacross FHM Bar room jokes. Some good (and not so good) stuff on there. Such as:

Feeling very lonely because her husband had died the year before, a Jewish lady decides to buy a pet to keep her company. So, she goes to her local pet shop and explains her situation to the shop manager. ‘I’ve got just the thing for you,’ he says. ‘This is Bella, a female parrot – she will chat sweetly to you all day.’ The Jewish lady is delighted and buys the bird. When she gets the parrot home she says, ‘Come on, Bella – say something.’ Bella says ‘My name is Bella. I like to fuck and I want some sex!’ The old lady is shocked and nearly passes out. She leaves it for an hour or so and approaches the parrot once more. But no luck: ‘My name is Bella and I want to fuck!’ The lady decides enough is enough and plans to return the parrot immediately. However, just as she’s about to leave, the local rabbi comes round. She explains her bad luck with the parrot. ‘Don’t worry,’ says the rabbi, ‘I’ve got three parrots at home and I’ve taught them so well that all they do is pray all day! Let me take Bella to them and they’ll make her a good parrot.’ The widow agrees and so the rabbi leaves with Bella. He gets home and tells his parrots, ‘This is Bella, she is bad, you must teach her to be good.’ Bella shouts, ‘My name is Bella, I like to fuck and I want sex now.’ The rabbi’s parrots look at each other and one shouts, ‘I told you if we prayed long enough …’

Why do I botherwith these blogs? I set one up and then forget all about it! Then, a few months later, I find a new site, set one upthere and promptly forget all about it as well! It's probably because my life is so dull I have very little to tell you all. Which sucks great big donkey balls.

But now I have geek mode to discuss - me and a pal are going to the last starfury.co.uk Buffy convention, at Blackpool this weekend! Yay us! And, to cap it all, season 2 of HEX starts this weekend as well!!!!!!!!!!!

Went out on Saturday round Sheffield with the guys from school, got drunk, came ome, slept. Woke up to a ruddy great scratch on my left arm, no idea how it got there. Ruddy M.D.I's, they're the worst part about going out drinking! You wake up and go "how the hell did THAT happen?"

'Twas my birthday in august. i got myself a new tattoo as my present to me. Mirrored my littl etribal pattern. Now it's more suitable to adding more to when I feel like it. Yikes, I'm becoming a tattooed yob..... someone save me!!!!

Okay, I think that's enough incoherent rambling. Next time it'll be coherent rambling instead!

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I went out on Friday night with the guys from work. Which was all well and good until John's 4ft tall stalker appeared. He'd been seeing this woman from work, Jackie and has since split up with her. One teensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy problem. Jackie is clingy. As in CLINGY. Think 'she wants to be surgically attached to him' and you're getting slightly warm as to the kind of clingy I'm talking about. They have to work together at work and she is never more than 3ft from the guy. Anyway, there we are, having a pint and who walks in? Jackie. And Jackie (2) and her daughter. From then on, whenever we entered a pub, within 30 seconds they appeared. It wass seriously freaky. Like FREAKY freaky.

John, wanting not to make a scene, decided that the best course of action would be to ignore them. All good in theory. However, Jackie(1) didn't take thsi too well and proceeded to drink. And drink. And drink. And drink. And drink. And, yep, you guessed it, drink some more. We got a call of "Carl! John! Can you come here?" from Jackie(2). We went outside to find a nearly unconcious Jackie(1). Now being the good samaritans that we are, we ended up walking - well, more like carrying - Jackie(1) the 500 yards or so home, up 4 flights of stairs etc. And we missed last orders.

Having said that, it DID get us out of that pool game we were getting severly thrashed at. Which was nice. I'm still ticked at missing last orders though.

Yup, it's 3am and I'm still floating around, doing very little. It's so boring on a Saturday at 3am, in a twn with like NO gay scene whatsoever. The nearest place is Chesterfield on a Wednesday night. There are two major problems therein. 1) All the guys I know from work who would go to Chesterfield with me live in the opposite direction, so I'd have to pay for a taxi all on my own, which is sooo not cheap for a 25+ mile journey. I could ask Sue or Di, but they don't do clubs. 2) I work Wednesday nights.

Okay, back to Firefly.

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Katana of Sweet Reason.

Get yours.

Fitting for someone with accute I-Must-Buy-Swords-itus I think you'll agree. I've been very good recently, I haven't bought any swords in almost 3 weeks! It's like a record since the sword shop opened in town. Before I could be restrained 'cause it meant using the internet or travelling, but with a shop just 3 miles away, the temptation was just too much! I only have so much willpower and most of that is spent not quitting my job.

I did buy the Firefly DVD set last weekend, which means it's been over a week since I posted, which is very bad of me. Firefly rocks, I might have to make an icon or something.

I'm still horny as a horned toad in the middle of horny season, which is frustrating in this hellhole.

Found this through IharthDarth....

Yep folks, I still have this cold, although - touchwood - it does seem to be getting better. And so I take another night off work - oh joy, next weeks paycheck is going to look soooooooooo good. Who would have thought I'd miss work? Well, more specifically, I'm missing the money I'm gonna loose through being sick... On top of that, I'm still not sleeping well, so I still feel really tired and basically like shit warmed up.

I suppose I should look on the bright side - at least I haven't thrown up today, which is an improvement over the last few days.

Current Mood: exhausted

Okay, a friend on a Buffy Yahoo group sent this little quiz...


Like Tara Maclay, your intentions as a witch are
virtuous - magic is a blessing, one which you
respect and love. You are a pure wiccan!


Buffy Quiz: Are you dark witch Willow or pure wiccan Tara?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hardly a surprising result for a wiccan though, is it? Maybe I should try being the 'bad boy' for once - who knows, maybe THAT will get me some tail?

I thought cold's struck in winter? Whoever heard of getting a real bad cold in summer? Well, I have - and a right fucking miserable one it is, as well. When I'm not blowing my nose, I'm having hot and cold flushes, when I'm not having them I'm blowing my nose. I had about 2 1/2 hours slep last night. I'm pissed off, I'm full of snot and I have to work tomorrow night....

Not sure what to put here, as it's the first post. I guess I'll start by saying hello, so.... "Hello".

Whew, that's the tricky part over with - Ha! I wish! Now I've actually set this bloody thing up, I haven't a clue what to say.... Ooooh, question to anyone who reads this; Does anyone out there know what the term for collecting swords/knives/daggers is? (Other than scary, anyway) There must be a term for it, I mean there's a fancy-pants term for stamp collecting, so there must beone for swords! And I think a nice, confusing looking word would seem much better on my CV than "I like to collect sharp, pointy, vaguely Phallic shaped objects".

As a strange aside, did you know Amerians (well, the ones I've encountered), don't know what a CV is? They have Resumes, and when I explained it [Curriculum Vitae] was latin for "the course of life" (or something similar - it's been a while since school now, and my memory isn't that hot) they looked at me all gone out, as if to say "wow, those Brits are smart, using Latin for something as mundane as a resume". LOL

So, what else? Star Wars. Hayden Christensen. Hotter than a hot day in the Sahara, during a slightly warm spell in August. Still not that good at acting though. But then, I suspect his acting talent wasn't what got him the job in the first place, so who am I to complain when evil looks that damn hot...

War of the worlds. When will Holywood realise that WotW is an a-fucking-mazing book and does NOT need Independance Day'ing to make it a good film? For fucks sake, will someone make a True Adaption of the book? Please?! No more of this 'set in modern day America' bullshit! I want Tripods! I want British Countryside! I want the Thunderchild! And I want Jeff Waynes music for the titles!